Grab a cuppa…it’s a long read! Soulmate, Karmic or Twin Flame – these terms are used a lot in the spiritual community to describe different types of relationships. Personally, and those who know me well know that I don’t like to sugar-coat things, there’s a lot of bullshit in the spiritual community too. Especially when it comes to referring to these different type of soul connections you may have in your life. There’s also a lot of people quick to judge, a lot of people quick to dismiss things and sadly…a lot of people trying to jump on the Twin Flame bandwagon like it’s a fast-track to printing money. More on that later in this blog post!
What I want to do with this blog post is explain the different connections so as to give you, the discerning reader, a better overview of each connection and why you may have that connection in your life.
Because…not everyone will experience all three.
But I hope that by reading this, you can understand the connections in your life better (past and present…and future…connections) and learn to know the difference and what their purpose is in your life.
Because…as I say often…we are all One Energy and we are all connected. We all serve a purpose in each other’s life to aid spiritual growth, personal development, learn and teach lessons and work through karma.
What is a Soulmate?
Let’s start with understanding want and who a soulmate is.
As souls, we all come from certain soul families. Those souls, those people, who we have a deeper bond with, such as:
- Those who we just vibe with so well and we have a great connection with
- Those who come into our life and it’s like they’ve been with us forever
- Our family
- The person you fall in love with who just completes you
Think of it like this – souls come from different soul families, it’s like a big piece of cloth with different souls made from that same cloth. You share the same values, the same ideals and possibly have the same goals. You are alike. Even with family, even if you don’t get along with a certain family member, you still chose to incarnate together because somewhere…there’s this deeper bond. A soul connection.
In a romantic sense, a soulmate is someone you feel at ease with. Someone you can be yourself around. They lift you up. They compliment who you are. You are very alike…but are not the same. There’s still differences between you…a bit like the saying, “opposites attract”. There’s something between you that you are attracted to and you find enjoyment in being with each other.
Yes, as with all soul connections, there are lessons to be learnt/taught between you, but these are done with a lightness about them as opposed to the deep turmoil of a karmic connection. You are together to grow. You both embody the teacher/student in each others lives. Even if you don’t end up staying together, there’s a reason for you being together that made you into a better person and taught you things about yourself that you couldn’t have learnt from someone else.
We all have soulmates. And we can have many soulmates. Not just romantic soulmates, but friendships and family members and colleagues. But with romantic soulmates, yes you can have more than one but if you aren’t still together, that’s possibly because there’s a bigger life lesson for you both to go through with other souls. But just by being together, you’ve impacted on each others lives in a positive way. Perhaps their connection simply served its purpose in your life (and yours in theirs) and now you are both free to move onto another soulmate.
A soulmate in the romantic sense is like your best friend. Someone who makes you feel at ease with yourself and like you can just open up with them and have fun. Yes, there’ll still be times when you have differences of opinions, but this is done with the the notion of learning and moving on and growing together. Unlike that of a Karmic Soulmate Contract (below) where it’s like a knife is put into a deep wound of yours, twisted around and around to open the wound up and something you don’t seem able to heal from. A bit graphic…but you’ll see why LOL.
You will still be tested with a soulmate…its the nature of being human…we are here to learn and evolve. But the connection is one where they can be your destiny and the love of your life.
What is a Karmic Contract?
A Karmic Contract is a soulmate. Yep, they are also a soulmate…but their purpose in your life (and yours in theirs) is very different to the regular soulmate connection.
A Karmic Soulmate Contract is what you have with another soul where there is a deeper karmic connection that needs to be worked through.
Karma exists for us all – in simple terms there’s the good karma (good deeds) and the bad karma (bad deeds). Every soul experiences karma and seeks to balance out the karma as the soul evolves and ascends more towards returning back to Source. This is when it’s been through the full soul life cycle and experienced everything there is to experience – the full 360 – so experiencing wealth and poverty, experiencing love and grief, experiencing compassion with indifference etc. Souls choose to experience every single thing – to become whole again with a complete knowledge of what it means to be human.
So don’t be afraid of karma…it’s how you grow.
With regards to a Karmic Soulmate Contract, they are in your life and you are in theirs because there is some unresolved karma between you. Perhaps some justified karma where one of you took on a particular notion in another life that a certain action was justified (you agreed with it) as opposed to unjustified where you didn’t connect with that action. For example, taking on the justified karma of self-sacrifice where you believe that the other person was justified in their actions towards you and you went along with the self-sacrifice. The karma is something that your souls chose this lifetime to work through. Perhaps you’ve had other lifetimes together to work through this karma, but never fully learnt the lesson and released the karma, so you’ve come back again to go through another round with it.
Like 10 rounds with Mike Tyson LOL
A Karmic Soulmate Contract is someone who will make you grow…if you see the lessons for just that…lessons.
This type of soulmate connection is someone who will feel like a soulmate. There’ll be some deep longing between you to be together. There’s a pull towards each other – because your souls have recognised each other and know that this is the time you chose to have this connection. So there’s a type of magnetic connection, there’s this pull between you, but the relationship is also one fraught with growth and with extreme lessons. This is someone who will change you…who will take you to the depths of your soul as you pretty much thrash out the karma between you.
A lot of those in Karmic Soulmate Contracts have experienced some form of abuse from the other partner – whether that is physical, emotional or verbal. This is because a Karmic Soulmate is there to teach major lessons about self-worth and self-love.
Why do you think a lot of Empaths attract Narcissists?! I know so many Empaths who were in this connection!
An Empath wants to heal the pain within someone else (and avoids the pain in their own life such as not loving themselves fully) and a Narcissist avoids their own pain from a deep-rooted sense of being seen as inadequate and unworthy and turns to the Empath to validate who they are. So many Empath/Narcissists are in a Karmic Soulmate Contract – ironically, they both have to learn the lesson of self-love and self-worth. But both have different ways of going about this.
When an Empath doesn’t feel worthy (I’m talking deep down at a subconsious level…and soul level) of being loved, they attract a Narcissist who loves them and makes them feel special but who feeds off of their insecurities by also putting them down and ensuring that they never fully love themselves (because then they’ll see the Narcissist for who she/he really is). A bit like that “knife being twisted” image I described above! There’s a wound there requiring deep healing…but the Empath isn’t healing from it because the Narcissist is aware of their weaknesses and keeps twisiting that knife..so the Empath never fully lets go of the Narcissist because their entire lack of self-love and lack of self-worth tells them they can’t and won’t find anyone else to love them.
And when a Narcissist is feeling the pain of unworthiness and a lack of self-love, he/she will attract an Empath to them who will make them feel special and will give them the energy, admiration and attention that they so desperately crave because sadly they’ve had all of this withheld from them in their own life by those closest to them such as parents. So by making the Empath feel like they can’t do any better by finding someone who loves them purely, they maintain that unbalanced connection with the Empath and so hold onto the admiration and attention they desperately crave.
A vicious cycle really.
Deep down, Empaths and Narcissists are the perfect compliment to each other. Both feel undeserving of love. Both seek the other out. Both feel a deep pain and deep void within themselves which, in an ironic sense, is what keeps them together. And so this pattern of the karmic contract continues…both in this push/pull energy and this karmic bind…until one recognises the unhealthy nature of this connection and seeks to break free.
This is why Karmic Soulmate Contracts can be so fraught and so difficult to break free from. There’s a deep bond between these souls because of the karmic ties between each other. Each soul knows that they have to be together to work through the karmic shit they have between each other and it’s a relationship that will test you and leave you wondering why you are choosing to be with someone who makes you feel so utterly like shit.
Which is why it is easy to confuse a Karmic Soulmate Contract with a Twin Flame (below) – because of the magnetic connection where you are drawn back to each other. But the thing is, Karmics aren’t supposed to last. They are here for you to work through the shit from another life, learn that lesson…and let go of the karma and move on.
Especially if it’s your karma to learn…and then release. Because this is something that you’ve brought into this life from a previous lifetime or lifetimes together and something you know that you need to release yourself from in order to grow and evolve. This is a contract you both made with each other before you incarnated…to pretty much thrash it out in this life and release the karmic bonds between you.
With this kind of connection, you’ll find yourself asking yourself things like:
- “Why don’t I just leave?!”
- “Why can’t I move on?!” (especially if you are separated but keep going back to each other)
- “Why am I putting up with this shit?! I deserve better!”
But do you?! Do you truly believe that you deserve better?!
Yes, of course you do. Nobody deserves to be treated like shit by their partner.
But, you aren’t leaving. You’re staying. Or…one of you has left the other but you keep going back to each other. And the longer you stay with this person especially if it’s an abusive relationship, the more you are saying that you are unworthy of a deep and loving relationship. And the same is true if you keep going back to this person over and over again…like they are some form of drug…because you aren’t learning the lesson.
That’s not to say that when you leave that you’ll have released that karma and learnt that lesson you were supposed to learn. Nope! Because you may end up getting involved in similar relationships. Going over the same lessons. How draining is that?!?!
The best way to release the karma from a Karmic Soulmate Contract is to understand what that karma is. What is it that that person brings up in you? What do you keep doing over and over again not just in that relationship, but in other connections? Why do you keep going back…and getting frustrated all over again? Learn from it…and learn the lessons of self-love and self-worth that are at a deeper level to the surface karmic lesson you are wanting to move on from.
What is a Twin Flame?
And so we move onto Twin Flames. And this is where I may piss a few people off. Especially those who have bought into the romantic bullshit that seems to be floating around about Twin Flames.
I speak about Twin Flames through my own knowledge and understanding of this type of soulmate relationship…and because of my first-hand experience of the connection with my own Twin Flame soulmate.
I referenced a soulmate above as being “alike…but not the same soul”. A soulmate is someone who is from the same soul family…cut from the same soul cloth so to speak.
A Twin Flame is your soul’s exact mirror. You are the same soul. You are 2 halves of the same soul. This is why there is such a deep pull towards your Twin Flame. A deep magnetic connection. Because you are the same soul. It’s like you’ve suddenly found the part of you that you’ve been searching for your whole life. There is this deep desire within each other to be together. You are like a drug to each other…you can’t get enough! An unseen energetic connection that just pulls you closer and closer…because Twin Flames are connected energetically. They share the same chakra system…you feel their energy and they feel yours. You are one.
They are always of a romantic nature too…because it’s the sexual connection that keeps the Twin Flame souls connected and wanting to find each other. There’s that need to be with each other which comes from a deep sexual attraction to someone. Because, it’s your other half you are in love with. Your own soul.
Twin Flames aren’t necessarily always together in the physical either. Some Twins don’t incarnate together if one soul has more lessons to go through or perhaps a Karmic Soulmate Contract to tie up loose ends with. So some Twins can be in Spirit…doing the Spiritual work in the Spiritual plane or in other dimensions or realms whilst the other does the work in the physical plane.
A Twin Flame connection is like taking a Karmic Soulmate Contract and shaking it up!! There’s a reason you have found each other. And no, it’s not about butterflies and unicorns and fairytales as some will suggest…aka those with a false notion of Twin Flame connections. The reason is because your souls have chosen to come together in this lifetime because you also have lessons and growth that you want to explore. Big growth! Twin Flame connections are amped up connections…they are spiritual connections with the purpose of Divine growth and coming together in a Union of Divine Love. But, it’s about amping up that growth! Taking it to a whole new level! Literally, stripping you bare, chewing you back up again…and spitting you out! Because…a Twin Flame shows you your soul. They are a mirror to your soul. What you are hiding from and running away from…is starring you back in the face! What your soul needs to heal and work through…is looking at you square on! And that can be pretty scary!
Twin Flames are soulmates yes…and most likely have spent plenty of lifetimes together because of this energetic pull to each other. Because the two halves know that they are complete when they are with each other. Like one of those love heart necklaces that fit together perfectly when the 2 halves are reunited. There’s just a completeness about being with each other.
But here, I’d like to disspell what I believe to be the bullshit that is readily available about Twin Flames…and which feeds into people’s insecurities and makes them vulnerable to those wanting to make money from them. There is this over-romanticized notion that Twin Flames are the perfect romantic relationship and that *said in dreamy fashion* (whilst clasping my hands together and gazing longingly at the sky with huge dreamy eyes), “Everyone has a Twin Flame and Twin Flames are 1 soul that when the soul first came to being, when that soul was first born eons ago, it split in 2 and has spent lifetimes trying to find it’s other half until they are reunited again in a perfect romantic harmony”.
Excuse me whilst I vomit LOL (honestly, this is some of the crap I’ve read!!!).
I’m sorry, but I don’t buy that bullshit. Yes, Twin Flames are the same soul. Two halves of the same soul. And yes, that soul did split in two. But not in the notion that it was from the first time the soul came to being when it first became a soul…and immediately split, so that there’s always 2 parts constantly roaming the galaxies looking for each other. That just sounds like something from a Disney film. Because, if that were true, then we’d know more about Twin Flames. And we don’t…unlike the concept of Soulmates. Because that says that we all have a Twin Flame…that somewhere out there…there’s your “true soulmate”. And it’s that which irritates me the most because it gives some false notion to others that there is someone better than their soulmate and that is just complete bullshit.
Because yes I’ve heard many people say things like:
- “I’m waiting to meet my Twin Flame”
- “My Twin Flame is going to be the most perfect person for me”
- “I can’t wait to meet my Twin Flame…I’m so excited!”
- “I won’t date anyone else because I’m waiting on my Twin Flame”
That’s why I don’t buy into the notion of there being a Twin Flame for everyone. That’s not to say that you won’t have a Twin Flame in another lifetime perhaps….because souls come in varying ages and some of us have been here a lot longer than others, have had many more lifetimes than others and have had many more lessons to work through. So more baggage to carry…and more consciousness within us because of our age. But there appears to be a lot of false info available that gets the hopes up of people who think that meeting their Twin Flame is the ultimate romantic relationship and can spend years waiting for this person…who never manifests. Perhaps because it’s not their lifetime for this. Or perhaps they don’t have a Twin soul…yet. Either way, in my personal opinion, there’s a lot of false info focussed on building others hopes up.
A soul splits in 2 to become two halves…when the 1 soul has reached a certain level of consciousness or frequency level and needs to split in 2 in order to come back to the physical body again. We are always ascending and becoming more conscious beings and all souls will drop a level of consciousness when they return in another life….in order to level up more. Like taking a step back, in order to take 2 or 3 or more steps forwards. The more your soul evolves to a higher consciousness through continued spiritual growth…the more likely your soul is to split in order to come back again into the physical and continue to ascend.
So a Twin Flame soul is one that has reached a higher level of consciousness and physically can’t reincarnate without splitting in 2. So it splits and goes about learning new lessons in new lives as 2 souls.
Again, we are all different soul ages and all souls reincarnate for different lessons and Twin Flame souls reincarnate together in order to work through the baggage the souls are carrying, to work through the crap so they can ascend to an even higher level of consciousness. To fully understand Divine Love. Twin Flame connections are spiritual connections for deep spiritual growth.
When you meet with your Twin Flame soul, you are met with your exact soul copy. Someone who mirrors everything about you. Every insecurity is shone in your face by your Twin. Every shadow you hide from, is shown right to you. Everything you hide from….is triggered in you by your Twin Flame. You can’t hide!
And that…can be hard to deal with. That’s why Twin Flame connections can be so chaotic and up and down. Because they demand a level of intensity you may not be used to. They demand you to stop and look at yourself and who your soul is….looking directly into that mirror and seeing yourself and everything about you that you don’t like or hide from or don’t want to see. All the karma from other lives, the experiences in this life that have moulded you, the baggage from other lives you are still carrying. It’s all there for you…right in front of you. Getting triggered…over and over and over again.
That’s why Twin Flame connections will literally shake you up, chew you up…and spit you back out again if you aren’t prepared for them! They are intense! And with intensity comes a lot of growth! And not every person is ready to work through that baggage which is why the term “Twin Flame separation” is widely used in the spiritual community, to reference when Twin Flame souls go their separate ways. For whatever reason, it could be that they aren’t prepared to look their soul directly in the eyes, or there’s another soulmate connection or karmic soulmate contract elsewhere that was agreed before you incarnated. When Twin Flame souls separate, it’s an invitation to work on yourselves. Work on what your Twin Flame has triggered in you. Because they will always trigger something within you…it’s part of the connection…it’s your own insecurities and baggage that are being triggered and brought to the surface so you can work through them and heal from them…in order to move forwards.
There’s a lot of talk about the runner and the chaser which is synonymous with Twin Flame relationships. Where one gets triggered and can’t handle the connection, so leaves (basically turning their back on themselves) and the chaser is left wondering what went on and tries to make the connection work. Which can inadvertently push the other Twin soul away because they can’t handle their true self.
That’s why Twin Flame connections can be so confusing – they are super intense and require you to do the inner work on yourself, work through whatever you aren’t facing, see yourself in the full light…and work on loving yourself and healing what needs to be healed. So that your soul can evolve to a higher frequency and higher state of consciousness and fully embody Divine Love.
I’ll be writing more about Twin Flames as I grow my blog.
I’d love to hear from you about your own experiences with Soulmates, Karmic Soulmate Contracts and Twin Flames – leave your comments below!