The Beauty…and The Beast…of Understanding My Soul Purpose!
February 10, 2019

As someone who is fully aware of my own soul purpose, I find certain experiences, lessons, situations and “aha moments” laughable!

My spiritual awakening has been fast….starting around 18 months ago…and I’ve learnt a lot, grown a lot, cried a lot…and swore a lot! For those who’ve been through a spiritual awakening, you’ll know what I mean!

But I’ve also uncovered who I am and who my soul is.  I’ve learnt to understand the lessons and karmic debt that my soul has brought into this life to work through. The things I’ve chosen to have as my life lessons.

And I’m cool with that…that’s what souls do…choose lessons for the next life, bring lessons through that the soul couldn’t complete in the last life, bring some karmic debt through that needs rebalancing.

And I do have to laugh at the irony of the life I’ve chosen and the purpose I’ve chosen in this life! As someone who is a Visionary, I can see the bigger picture and how all the jigsaw pieces fit together. So I laugh at it all!

I’m a very very very ancient soul. I asked my Higher Self once…and my pendulum…how many lives I’ve had and I heard “469”. Yep…that would make me very ancient LOL! I know I’ve been in Lemuria as a High Priestess…and possibly Atlantis too.

From Akashic Records readings I’ve had done and through my own questioning of Spirit and understanding astrology more, I’ve learnt a few things about myself:

  • My soul is very comfortable in the religious/spiritual lives – but always missed the secular/material world
  • My soul is very comfortable in the secular world living a material life – but always missed the religious/spiritual world
  • That I haven’t been able to merge the 2 worlds together in other lives – it’s been one or the other
  • That my soul chose this lifetime to marry the 2 worlds together – to bring them into harmony and balance together to experience both secular and spiritual as one (which I think is pretty clever!)

That’s a pretty cool task! Because it allows me to merge the 2 together and to feel comfortable in leading both a secular life and a spiritual life together. Complete harmony!

What makes me laugh (what a clever soul!) is that my soul chose this life to pursue a purpose of epic proportions in terms of financial earnings and status (the secular/material world)….by achieving this through spirituality and my spiritual yearnings.

Yep…pretty good calculations there to merge the 2 wouldn’t you say?

I’ve known for a while now that my purpose is huge…that my business will be built upon helping others to awaken their souls and to show them the way to uncover their purpose and Authentic Self.  That by serving others, I help myself.

For the timid Virgo in me (my Sun sign, thankfully I have Sagittarius Rising, so will always look to step outside of the comfort zone!), this is something that I never thought possible for myself. And even last year when I understood my purpose, it freaked me out. But then the more I progressed with my soul’s path and my awakening by uplevelling a fuck ton in a short space of time, the more it made sense to me and the more I started to embrace this vision…after all, I am a Visionary and I see the bigger picture for us all.

This weekend, I even took it a step further, and learnt more about astrology (it’s always fascinated me ever since I was a little girl…big past life connection there!) and learnt about the North and South Nodes in our birth charts.

I’d heard them mentioned before and didn’t understand too much about them. But wow, my mind was blown this weekend with understanding the importance of the North and South Nodes regarding our karma and our soul purpose and ultimate destiny in this life.

Literally, mind blown!!!

So I already knew my purpose…that it’s to create life so huge through helping others with their purpose and abilities (my Midheaven is in Libra….apparently it’s to do with social work and helping others…go figure!!). But what really blew my mind is what I uncovered about my North and South Nodes.

After a huge amount of geeking out with a soul sister who is a fellow esoteric geek…LOL (we can literally chat forever about astrology, karma, past lives, other dimensions etc!), I learnt that my South Node is in Aquarius – the South Node is where we’ve come from, our past lives and the karma and lessons we bring through to this life.  The South Node is what we feel comfortable doing – it’s the things that come easily to us to do because we’ve done them for lifetimes before.  With this being said, what this means for me is that in the past I’ve been the one to stay behind the scenes, have been a people pleaser and had a need to be liked – even though I was quite rebellious in other lives, it’s like a way of breaking away from the constraints I felt. And I have a lot of tendencies to stay in the mind (Aquarians are very forward-thinking) rather than connecting with my heart and what I want – doing things for the needs and benefits of others.

I found this fascinating….because from such a young age I was always a people pleaser…going along with others, putting others needs above my own, not making it know what I wanted etc. I was such an introvert as a young child and was encouraged by my parents to study Drama for my GCSEs to help me to “come out of my shell”. I’m very different today in terms of my personality (again, thank you Sagittarius Rising!) but there has still been a lot of need to “people please” which quite frankly…pisses me off. This is something I’ve been breaking away from a lot over these last 6 months or so…and it can be hard to break a habit of a lifetime (or lifetimes…LOL) but needs must!

So that being said, with my South Node in Aquarius, my North Node (my purpose, what I’m striving to achieve in this life…my destiny) is in the sign of Leo.

Yep….good old Leo…ready to roar! Following my heart and doing what I want (not being a people pleaser), leading by example, being ok with attention and showing off what I can do.

I love it! Because it fits in so well with what I understand my purpose to be! To merge the 2 worlds together of the spiritual with the material…and the irony being that it will be through embracing my spirituality and creating a business out of who I am…that I can merge this with the material world and create wealth from spirituality.

But that’s also where the frustration comes in…the beauty of understanding my purpose…and the frustration of having to really break down some walls surrounding past lives and what I’ve brough to this life…and truly step out of my comfort zone into the life and destiny I chose.

After all, it’s written in the stars!

I love lessons and understanding the soul!  It’s truly fascinating! But I know that this is my destiny….and I’m a go-getter (again, thanks Sagittarius Rising!) and so know that in order to have what I’m supposed to have, that I have to get uncomfortable with being in that Leo North Node energy and being ok with attention and shining my light and leading others! It’s my destiny after all!

Honestly, I find it so fascinating how everything is connected… everything! Like, it’s no coincidence at all about the date/time/location of your birth (or, for that matter, the way you chose to enter the world!, but that’s another story!) or who your parents/family are. Everything was decided by your soul beforehand to have everything literally written in the stars.

That’s why astrology fascinates me so much. It’s not just about your Sun sign (your zodiac sign). It’s about everything combined – where each planet was when you were born, what house they were in, what the major celestial influences were and where your Nodes are. Everything was planned meticulously and decided so that it fits your purpose exactly.

Honestly, I blow my mind most days with thinking and talking about stuff like this. It’s like jumping into the rabbit hole and not knowing how far or how deep I’ll go!

Do you know your North and South Nodes? If not, I used this website, Astro Style, to read more about mine – check it out! Find your date of birth (Nodes don’t move much so there’s usually like a year or 2 between one and the other) then click on the corresponding description. Have a read…and see if you blow your mind too…especially if you already know your purpose!