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Why am I “triggered” by others?!

Why am I triggered by others?!

There’s that word again.

Triggered.

You’ll probably see and hear it lots in the spiritual community. Even if you aren’t spiritual. It’s becoming more wide-spread!

“He/She really triggered you!”

“What is about what they said or did that triggered you?”

“You’re being triggered…what do you need to work on?”

Yep….triggered.

A very “innocuous” word….until you get more involved in your spiritual journey and start to understand that pretty much everything can act as a trigger for you.

What does it mean to be triggered?

The first thing to remember is that we are all mirrors! Yes…we all mirror each others.

Being triggered, as I’ve learnt through my own experiences, is when someone does or says something that creates an unwanted reaction in you. Such things as:

  • sparking insecurities within you
  • making you feel jealously for no apparent reason
  • feeling unworthy or inadequate around certain people
  • feeling sad because of someone else’s success
  • getting angry about someone for no reason

These are all examples of triggers.

Being triggered means that your shadows (aka the parts of yourself that you consciously or unconsciously deny) come to the surface. We all have shadows. They are part and parcel of being human. People can get scared of shadows, thinking that they are a bad thing. Far from that! They are only bad if you continue to deny their existence and refuse to acknowledge what you are being called to work on – because you’ll constantly be triggered.

We all have light and dark. The parts of ourselves we love and admire and which we receive admiration for from others. Then there’s the parts that we either dislike about ourselves or deep down we’ve learnt to shun those aspects and hide behind a mask of perfection, fearful that someone will find out about our true self and not want us.

Your shadows are what are being triggered when you feel that sense of unease about what someone has done or said to you. Whether you choose to acknowledge your shadows or not, if they are left unacknowledged, then you’ll continue to be triggered.

Going back to the mirror

As I’ve already mentioned, we are all mirrors to each other. Every single one of us. I actually find it pretty fascinating with how we are all connected energetically and sometimes it just blows my mind and I find that I go through that worm hole of information overload!

We act as mirrors to show each other aspects of ourself…our ego self…that is needing to be worked on. Healed. Acknowledged.

Perhaps there’s a friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend of yours who, despite getting on with him/her, there’s something about what they say or do (or their energy) that sparks an unwanted reaction in you. You may feel jealous of how well he or she is doing in their business….and you feel like you just can’t get a break. Or they are someone who makes friends easily…and you struggle to do so and feel unwanted by others. Or just their very energy…the life they have and who they are…triggers deep rooted insecurities within you that you don’t feel worthy of being around them.

Etc.

The list is endless.

But what they are doing is acting as a mirror for you. Even when it’s done at a subconscious level. There’s always a reason for it. To be a mirror for your soul to see who you are. To bypass the ego and to connect at a deeper level…a soul level…to connect with your soul self.

Because the soul doesn’t know ego. It only knows love. Ego comes from the human aspect of us all. So when you are triggered by someone being a mirror for you, you are being asked to see what you aren’t acknowledging within you. You are being asked to embrace all of who you are…your Authentic Self. Because we are all human at the end of the day. Yes we are spiritual beings, but we are also humans and we experience human emotions. So the triggers act as a way for you to see what you are needing to work on within yourself in order to progress on your spiritual journey…whether you class yourself as spiritual or not…you are still a spirit having a human experience.

How do you deal with being triggered?

The first step to working through the triggers…is to acknowledge that you are being triggered in the first place!!!

Easier said than done…I know!!!

But really…when you tune into what you are feeling about a certain situation or experience or what someone has said or done to you…when you tune into those feelings…it helps you to go deeper as to what is coming up for you.

And that is powerful!!

Because in doing so, you are acknowledging that there’s something about you…something hidden deeper within your human ego…that is needing to be brought to the surface.

By recognizing the triggers and what is being triggered within you, you’re taking the first steps to working through these and moving forwards in your life. Experiencing growth. Moving to that next level of your soul’s journey.

Steps you can take to deal with these triggers once you recognise them include:

  • journaling about them – write about what is coming up for you, why it’s coming up, what experiences or thoughts does this trigger bring up for you, what can you relate it to from another period of your life such as childhood or teenage years for example
  • meditate – sit in quiet meditation and ask yourself what you are needing to learn from these triggers

Triggers will continue to affect you if…

If, on the otherhand, you choose to (consciously or unconsciously) stick your head in the sand when you get triggered for something or blame the other person for their behaviour or words and how they’ve made you feel…then you aren’t doing the healing work. The growth work that you are being called to do.

And, therefore, the triggeres will continue to come up for you until you acknowledge them and work through them.

Believe me, when Spirit want you to understand a lesson, they can be pretty pushy with you. Unless that’s just my Spirit Guides LOL!

But seriously, things will continue to come up for you again and again and again until you make the conscious decision to acknowledge what is coming up for you.

  • What is it that you see in that person that you can’t acknowledge in yourself?
  • What is it about what they say or do that just pushes your buttons?
  • What is it about those similar experiences you keep having that frustrates the hell out of you?
  • What is it about what you’ve read or watched that has brought on an uncomfortable reaction within you?

Journal, meditate…whatever it is that works for you that helps you to fully understand where these triggers are coming from.

Because I don’t know about you, but I bloody hate having the same fucking lessons come up over and over again. I’m like “yes, I understand, I need to work on this shit…but please…slow the fuck down will you?!?!?”

Do the work. Acknowledge your shadows. Work with them. Understand them. Acknowledge them. Love them and who you are.

What happens when you do the inner work?

When you acknowledge the triggers…and you acknowlege the shadows…you are giving a green card to yourself that it’s time to work through these and to grow from within. To ascend. To grow. To become more whole.

When you acknowledge them, you are giving them a voice. To heal whatever within you is unhealed. Because, lets’s face it, we are all on this human journey together. Our souls choose to incarnate as humans to go through various lessons and growth. So that we can learn and experience everything we need to before returning back to Source as a complete soul and fully enlightened being.

That’s why we have experiences that leave us a little scarred. Some more than others. Because it’s current life healing to work through…plus whatever karma and lessons we carry from past lives. If there’s big shit to deal with, even from many lifetimes ago, it’ll still be presented to you in this life.

So please, do the work. Recognise the triggers. Work through your shadows and acknowledge what they are. Give yourself the go ahead to feel good about yourself…in all areas of your life and who you are. Release yourself from all that past life crap you’ve been carrying. And move forwards with your life.

Believe me, when you do the work, you’ll be amazed at how things and people and situations that previous triggered you…no longer have an effect on you.

And that…is powerful as fuck! Because it shows you’ve moved on. It shows you’ve worked through that shit and moved forwards. Embrace that….embrace that growth.

And get ready for the next lesson LOL 😉

Much love!

Lea xo

P.S If you are feeling called to understanding more about your soul’s purpose….or even working through those pesky shadows…I offer 90 minute Intuitive Soul Strategy sessions. As an Intuitive Empath, I know and feel what is going on for people and what you are holding back from. To find out more about my 90 minute Soul Strategy sessions, please go to: https://www.leannejuliette.com/coaching

 

Photo Credit by: Gabriel Matula

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